A mentally stimulating exercise!!

2011 in review

Not too bad!!!  Thanks for reading! There is much more to come in 2012! Get ready, get ready, get ready!!!

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 20 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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What I Know for Sure

I was long planning for my 35th birthday months before it arrived. Crazy stoked..thinking about my new hair do- natural but with color, planning a photo shoot- in my mind I wanted to recreate Diana Ross’ iconic nude photo of course with my fro. Yes, I felt like taking a ride on the wild side although I wasn’t in crisis mode. In the midst of this concern with my physical- my evolution, I took a moment to reflect over the years and pondered a few things I knew for sure. Surely enough I have learned far more and will continue as long as I keep living..I just pray the lessons aren’t so hard.

Drum Roll Please…

  • My voice won’t change!! (And it’s better to smile when asked, “Do you really talk like that?”)
  • Forgiveness is tough but liberating
  • Grieving does not have an expiration date..don’t let anyone tell you how or how long
  • People won’t always treat you the way you treat them, hell sometimes I don’t treat ppl the way I want to be treated  (just mean!!)
  • Everyone plays the fool at least one time
  • Opinions are just that
  • Relationships that are 50/50 means both parties are half assing it…give me my 100
  • Loving family and friends from afar doesn’t mean you don’t love them
  • You can’t be everything to everybody
  • I’m not superwoman…I get tired, angry, hungry, sad..you get the drift..and it’s REALLY ok
  • Doing what you say is more important than saying what you will do
  • Being sorry is overrated..don’t be sorry- do better
  • Having good credit, life/health insurance, saving, and investing in your child’s future is only right..not WHITE
  • Giving energy to people who wrong you, dislike you, don’t agree with you is non-sensical (is that a word?)
  • Working hard, staying the course pays off
  • There is a difference in enabling and helping…be a guide not a crutch (very tough one for me)
  • Sisterhood is a beautiful thing (some women can’t get pass their own issues to see otherwise…it’s not always the other person ladies)
  • My blackness should not be measured by the language I don’t use or the food I don’t eat..pass the sushi please
  • When you know better, you “ought” to do better
  • Never be too proud to ask/accept help..you could truly be blocking someone else’s blessings
  • I don’t know all the answers
  • Constructive criticism may temporarily sting, but long term smooths out the rough edges
  • If you have your own dreams, you won’t be concerned with buying what someone else is selling
  • Silence is agreeance (as it relates to crime..now on the other hand silence is avoiding an argument..lbvs)
  • God has been good to a sistah, even though I haven’t deserved much of it

I am looking forward to continued growth…the evolution of Skyy!!

 

Mustard Seed Faith

It’s been a while since my last post. My life has been waxing and waning in all areas. After completing the 31 Day Reset with Rosetta Thurman and recently resetting again. The uncertainty was still there. I struggled to find my place so to speak outside of art and activism. However what struck me odd is that everyone around me seemed to have my life figured out. What I was doing in their eyes was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. And this could very well be true, yet the idea of not becoming all the things I believed myself to be was a constant distraction. Then the messengers came to reaffirm that I was on the right track and I must stay the course.

To put it simply, we must remember in these times of uncertainty and self-doubt to take a step back and listen. Listen to the voice of vocation that originally set us on the path to our purposed life- the life that we were meant to live, the person we were meant to be. While it seems easier said than done, one thing I have learned is that I have the ability to alter the course or risk waking up twenty years from now with a heap of regrets. I choose the former. Skyy’s on the move!!

Healing For Your Soul

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of watching Oprah, something I rarely do. But you see this day I couldn’t miss it, the legendary Diana Ross was a guest.  I sat in awe admiring how poised and timeless she was.  I vaguely remember the question however the response was full of power and resilience. “I never let myself get lost completely in another person.” And when I think about the Diana I grew to know and love from just a little girl, she was that same person on the big screen. Yes, she battled demons and society to some extent, but the leading man loved and fought for her.

Over the past few weeks there seems to be an overwhelming consensus/feeling from my sister friends both married and single that they’ve lost their identity in their relationship. I could relate to the married folk. Immediately the flashback of the scene in Coming to America played in my head; the one with Vanessa Bell Calloway bidding to be Princess.  Prince Akeem asks, “What kind of food do you like?” she responded, “Whatever food you like.” In this brief exchange she never revealed who she was. It was evident that her world would revolve around him. Yes, I have to admit, been there, done that. At one point in my life I was just a shell- void of soul and identity, unsure of how I ended up in such a desolate place but I did. As wives, I think because there is an overwhelming notion to be a “good” wife, mother, friend, etc. that it becomes easy to create situations in which the woman shoulder’s most of the responsibility with little reciprocation.  After a while, the woman nurtures to the point that she becomes depleted and then unhappiness and self doubt begins to settle in eventually turning into resentment.

But what I am having even more difficulty wrapping my mind around is the single woman who has not fully self identified yet has lost the little bit of self she knows in another.  Women continue to relegate themselves to being a side piece or that emergency piece of ass for the sake of having association.  I’m reminded of the failure to thrive diagnosis in small children, the critical period of development in which the absence of touch, sound, and care arrest the physical growth and emotional development of the child. Is it possible for this same phenomenon to occur as girls transition to womanhood? I have seen women’s spirits elevated in the company of men who give regular attention in and out of the bedroom, yet when the man is gone the walls come tumbling down, they become emotional, unhappy, and isolated- no identity. On the outside looking in, we/I can lend support or suggest what should be done, but the true answers begin with you. Dig deep my sister because what he’s digging for is priceless. You’ve got to know that!

Short and Serious!!

Last night I had the pleasure of supporting a budding entrepreneur in her own right. The event’s tagline simply stated “it’s never too late for love.” Greeted with the perfect ambiance of dim lighting, nice music, and friendly faces, I was ready to experience a sensual evening of poetry and decadent sweets. Ndigo the High Priestess of Erotica graced the stage and the mood changed for a select few. From her mouth flowed bold words of sexual relations painting scenes so vivid that one could feel their flesh begin to dance. Now mind you the room was full of adults and I doubt any virgins. Yet the hearing of these words embarrassed and intimidated some, visibly noticeable by the awkward shifting and blank stares. Not to mention those who were too embarrassed to accept a free condom. Grown women who choose to attend adult events and who are more than likely sexing up a storm should not behave as teenagers.  We show how truly vulnerable we are. Own your sexual health. And in this owning, you inevitably have the power to become one less…statistic.

Now head down to your nearest local drugstore and get yourself a three pack! (Here is where I insert disclaimer; sex is for married folk 😉

Get tested!! Stay Protected!!

Greetings 2011! (Day 31)

My theme word for 2011 is OVERFLOW– an excess or superabundance. I want to birth/experience overflow in the key areas of my life- relationships, family, health, finances, lifestyle, work, and education. Living my life on task (purpose driven) this overflow becomes available and in turn flows over all that I encounter.  My voice will be lifted to empower girls and women. My torch is lit and in hand ready to blaze trails! My heart, mind, and arms are open for the overflow!!
I couldn’t just have one theme song for 2011!! “Golden” by Jill Scott and “Closer” by Goapele are the two I’ve chosen to embody. Dare to be Inspired because I am! Excited about the infinite possibilities that await YOU and ME!

2010 ended with me wanting a change in all areas of my life. I’m not saying that things were so bad, however for the progression I sought, the new levels I eyed, I needed to fine tune some things. Soon after I stumbled upon the reset your life challenge. It was the challenge I needed to sort through the chaos my life had become. After visiting www.happyblackwoman.com and seeing how amazing Rosetta Thurman is, I was inspired to take on the challenge without reservation or skepticism. Yes, my life could change in 31 days! I held the power! This affirmation was solidified with the mantra I adopted.

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.”
Diane Mariechild

Day 24: Ask for Help. Offer help.

The latter has never been an issue for me. Much like my mother, I have a giving spirit. I’m often called upon for advice,  to lend a helping hand, or just a listening ear. Yet I have struggled with the asking. And I can say a lot of it was attributed to the superwoman persona. I can handle it. Whatever the “it” was I told myself, Skyy had it. Well in seeking change, growth, expanding my circle of strength and forging new business relationships, I had to ask for help. I was required to actively participate in my success. It’s still a work in progress. I have begun to reach out more, via both emails and phone calls.

“Eventually everything connects – people, ideas, objects. The quality of the connections is the key to quality per se.”
Charles Eames

Day 25: Stop Complaining

I’ve never been a complainer, however very vocal about my needs and wants, even downright pouty and crabby sometimes. I have learned that the tongue is so powerful and that speaking negative words are just as dangerous as thinking them. So now, not just today, I consider the flip side of a situation. And in those moments I dare utter dissatisfaction. It is well, I proclaim!

 Day 27: Start a side Hustle

Multiple streams of revenue seem to be the key to survival, getting ahead, or building your nest egg these days. I’m looking for the right fit, in the meantime I’m freelancing my behind off!

Day 28: Love letter to 2010

            Dear 2010, It’s been a whirlwind love affair. Some days I was madly in love with you and others I wished you were gone. Through the ups and downs you taught me so much. You taught me that it was okay to be vulnerable and to let bygones be just that. You taught me that taking time for myself was a necessity. Yes, my journey of self discovery and growth you contributed! My, my, my 2010, when I doubted progress, you revealed how my territory was expanding; my first public speaking engagement, in which I delivered an aspiring message to a multi-ethnic audience ranging from teenagers to seniors.  This momentous occasion shared with loved ones was definitely the cream cheese icing on my red velvet cake. Oh how I love red velvet cake! *giggles* 2010 you broke cycles in which I celebrated with family and friends. Memorial weekend 2010 you were great! My travels were all domestic, my adventures were few. This was compensated by a brief romance with Trey Songz and 2010 you introduced me to South African Music, such sweet melodies to my ears. Showing me how resilient I am, I salute you as I bid a bittersweet farewell to you… 2010.

Living well,

Skyy

 Day 29: Let Go of the Past!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

Day 30:  Personal commitment statement

In living a life that is meaningful and purposeful, there has to be commitment. As with habits, things done over and over by way of action becomes an integral part of whom you are. “I am committed to living a healthy and whole life” is a summation statement of where my journey will end.  I’m continuing to grow into that person.